


Avengers Cruise

by viviegirl05



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coulson is the master of planning and scheduling, Cruise, Europe, Fluff, Gen, Nick Fury needs a break from these human disasters, Sight seeing, Team Bonding, Team Fluff, Travel, fun times, tourist stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-28 11:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15706071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viviegirl05/pseuds/viviegirl05
Summary: Nick Fury is sending the Avengers on a Mediterranean cruise. Why? Team bonding, or so he says. Whatever the reason, the Avengers are psyched for their first vacation in years and are looking forward to traveling in comfort and getting a chance to see the world as civilians.





	1. Barcelona

The Avengers were going on a cruise. It was wildly unexpected, and quite frankly shocking, but Nick Fury was the one to set it up- assigning Coulson to make the arrangements and going so far as to make sure Pepper Potts cleared Tony’s schedule to allow for the trip. A Royal Caribbean cruise to the Mediterranean Sea for seven days, not counting embarking and disembarking days, picking them up from Barcelona, Spain, and visiting Marseille & Provence, France, Nice, France, Rome, Italy, Venice, Italy, Florence & Pisa, Italy, Pompeii, and one day at sea. All six of them were going- Tony, Steve, Clint, Natasha, Bruce, and Thor, and sharing a MASSIVE penthouse suite that had a sauna, hot tub, small basketball court, small movie theater, three lounge rooms, and room for all of them to have a room with a king size bed, walk-in closet, and private bathroom for themselves.

Fury claimed it was a reward for their hard work and an opportunity for team bonding, but none of them truly believed that. The prevailing theory was that he was trying to get rid of them so he would have a week without them bothering him. Either that, or he had some huge, secret operation going on, but that seemed unlikely as Clint and Natasha- his best undercover agents- weren’t going to be there. Either way, they were all looking forward to the vacation.

Coulson made sure to book them all activities they would enjoy, starting with booking them at the Hotel Neri Relais & Chateaux near La Ramblas in Barcelona, where they would spend two nights, arriving mid morning, have lunch, spend the rest of the day overcoming jet lag/shopping, then spend the following day in town doing touristy things, before embarking on the cruise the third day. He made sure to book them reservations at the best restaurants and get them private tours at everywhere he thought they would enjoy, then did the same for all the cities they were visiting. He took care to schedule long enough tours for them to take their time and enjoy themselves, as well as leaving time for them to relax at the pool or enjoy onboard entertainment if they wanted.

They all did some research and put forward requests for the places they wanted to see in each city they would visit. They found restaurants to try, left meals open for random cafe selection, chose museums and shopping areas to visit, and planned to bring home a multitude of souvenirs.

As it wasn’t a mission, they wouldn’t be allowed to take a quinjet, but Tony refused to fly commercial, so they were going to take his private jet. Steve and Bruce in particular were looking forward to the private plane experience, having always travelled either via overcrowded and uncomfortable commercial plane or bare-bones military flight with no luxury at all.

They were all looking forward to their first vacation in years.

***

As they were taking Tony’s private jet, they got to avoid TSA security checks and the crowded airport, simply riding in a limo straight from the road to the runway to board the plane. After settling in their comfortable seats and taking off,  they quickly reached altitude and dinner was served- salad, lasagna, and garlic bread. They easily relaxed into conversation

“Have any of you guys ever actually been to Europe as civilians slash tourists before?” Tony asked.

“No, just for the war,” Steve said. “No one really had the money to travel abroad back in my day. Most days we struggled to pay for food.”

“I was technically born in Russia, but I don’t actually remember anything from before I started training, so not really,” Natasha ruminated.

“Nope, only for missions or Avengers stuff,” Clint said.

“I have not been to the continent in nearly a millennium- I anticipate it has changed greatly in my absence.” Thor rumbled.

“I’ve only ever been for Avengers stuff. I mostly spent time in southern third world countries when I was on the run,” Bruce added.

“Well I _have_ been to Europe as a civilian, and I know a bunch of great restaurants, but I always went for business,” Tony asserted. “ Or with my parents, but they weren’t really interested in dragging a kid to museums and tourist spots for the most part. I do know a couple good spots though.”

“So this should be a fun experience for all of us then,” Natasha speculated with a twinkle in her eye.

“Thor, did you ever actually visit anywhere other than Scandinavia when you visited Earth- sorry, Midgard- in the past?”

“I do not believe so. Though it was not referred to as Scandinavia at the time. It was north of the main body of the country, though it was quite beautiful with its rolling fields of green, glorious mountains, and humble villages surrounding grand castles, though they were nothing compared to the glory of Asgard,” Thor opined.

“You really should take us to Asgard sometime- I’d love to see if I could draw it as wonderfully as you describe it,” Steve said.

“Indeed, I think you would find it most inspiring, Steven. No Midgardian has ever attempted to capture Asgard’s beauty on paper before, but I have confidence that you would succeed in the endeavour should you make an attempt,” Thor declared.

“I’d love the chance to examine Asgard’s healing technology,” Bruce thought aloud. “Think of the ramifications if we were able to recreate sure advanced techniques here on Earth- so many lives could be saved and improved…”

“Bruce, stop working for five minutes. We’re on vacation. We’re supposed to relax, enjoy ourselves, and not worry about anything,” Tony ordered. “Take off the Doctors Without Borders hat and put on your leisure bonnet.”

Clint snicketed. “Leisure bonnet? Really?”

“You get the idea,” Tony waved away the comment. “Leisure bonnet, ten-gallon Stetson of relaxation, chapeau of contentment, fedora of fun, sombrero of gratification, coiffure of happiness, babushka of pleasure, whatever you want. The point is you,” he pointed at Bruce, “need to lay off the work and enjoy yourself for the next week.”

“We’re going to be gone for eleven day in total,” Natasha looked amused.

“Fine, eleven days. Starting now, no more work,” Tony demanded. “Nothing but good times for the next 260 hours!”

“Did you seriously just calculate how many hours we will be on vacation?” Clint arched an eyebrow at Tony.

“What?” Tony scoffed, “it’s not exactly hard to calculate in your head. 11 times 24 is 264. I rounded down to give some wiggle room, but its still not hard to calculate.”

“Maybe for you, beautiful mind,” Clint muttered into his lasagna. For all that he could calculate angles for perfect aim in the blink of an eye, Clint couldn’t do mental math to save his life. It was strange and contradictory, but it was what it was.

“So,” Steve asserted, “Coulson said we should take the first day to get over our jet lag-”

“Oh thank God,” Bruce interrupted. “The last time I travelled internationally that wasn’t for Avengers business I almost passed out because I had no time to get over the jet lag!”

“Seriously? You pull all nighters in the lab all the time, but you can’t get over a little jet lag?” Tony smirked.

“I was coming off an all nighter and ended up staying away for more than 40 hours,” Bruce defended.

“Weak. My record is 56 hours before I passed out,” Clint boasted.

“It’s not a competition; we can’t compare ourselves to others. We all have limits,” Steve interjected.

“Well,” Natasha said, changing the subject, “we should be arriving by 10am. Once we get our luggage and settle into the hotel it will probably be lunch time. Any suggestions Tony?”

“I had Coulson book us a reservation at El Bosc de les Fade- it’s a wax museum and enchanted forest-themed bar and restaurant with simulated rainstorms. My mom took me there when my dad had business meetings and we had some time to ourselves. It’s kinda kiddie, but I thought people might enjoy it, a nice intro to our vacation. And a trip down memory lane for me,” Tony replied.

They spent some time discussing the various places they wanted to visit before settling down to try and catch some sleep, though none of them were all that tired. They ended up simply resting, only Clint and Steve actually managing to fall asleep. They arrived in what was the wee hours of the morning at home, but mid morning in Barcelona. They all squinted at the brightness of the sun, trudging off the plane and piling into the limo in silence while someone- probably an airport worker Tony hired- moved their luggage from the plane to the car for them.

***

After settling into the hotel, unpacking only what they needed while in Barcelona, not wanting to completely unpack only to repack a day and a half later. They reconveined in the lobby and piled back into the limo to head to whatever Tony said the restaurant was called.

They arrived at the restaurant and perked up a bit, intrigued by the unique decor. They were shown to a table and, after a round of coffee, took in their surroundings. Natasha and Steve seemed charmed by the magical fairy woodland ornamentation of the eatery, Tony gazed around wistfully, and Clint stared at a wax figurine as if afraid it would suddenly come to life. Bruce just flagged down a waitress for another round of coffee, desperate for more caffeine.

They ordered and ate in a bit of a daze, not really paying attention to whether the food actually tasted good or not. Once they paid the bill (stunningly Fury had provided SHIELD funds for them to do and eat whatever they wanted) they wandered around the wax museum area, equal parts admiring and amused by the fine work that had gone into the whimsical sculptures.

They were feeling a bit energized by the meal and opted to stop by Parc Guell. They marvelled at the ornate mosaics and panoramic views for about half an hour, Steve stopping to buy a sketchbook and some pencils to draw a quick picture of the dazzling view. Tony took some hi-res photos of the area for Steve to recreate later and bought a few postcards as well.

When they got back to the hotel it was 2:30pm and they were all feeling the jet lag and went right to bed and slept till morning. Steve woke up first and found that apparently Tony had gotten up at some point in the night and made some strange modern-art-like sculpture of what seemed to have been wire coat hangers in the penthouse lounge. He was deeply amused when he discovered Tony curled up on the floor, having pulled all the pillows and cushions from the various couches and arranged them into some kind of nest. He almost missed him as he was nearly completely covered by the cushions and a throw blanket.

Deciding not to wake him, Steve set the coffee maker to brew a batch of coffee while he went for a run in the hotel gym. Upon his return, Tony was still sleeping, but everyone else was up and enjoying the coffee Steve had kindly brewed for them.

“Tony…” Natasha wafted a mug of coffee by Tony’s nose, trying to wake him with the heady aroma. They knew she had succeeded when Tony groaned and grabbed the mug blindly, all but inhaling the life-giving liquid. After some prodding and coaxing from Steve, Tony eventually got up and went to shower.

When they were all ready they headed to the restaurant at which Coulson made them a reservation for breakfast, then met up with a tour guide for a private tour of the Gothic Quarter, all of them taking time to explore the shops and hidden boutiques their guide pointed out to them, purchasing knick-knacks and antiques to take home. They all enjoyed it final destination of Placa del George Orwell, which was filled with absurd art and bizarrely dressed people. They took typical touristy photos, posing together and occasionally making silly faces and taking candids of each other gawking at their surrounding.

They grabbed a few cabs when they were ready to go and made short stops at La Sagrada Familia, Catedral de Barcelona, and Casa Batllo, simply because they felt obligated to see the famed sites while they could.

They had lunch at La Boqueria Market and did a walking tour of Poble Espanyol, then a quick tour of Montjuic Castle as Steve insisted they see it. Finally they went to the amusement park at Tibidabo for a fun evening and a dinner of carnival food.

“Well that museum sucked, but this place is awesome!” Clint cried as they ascended the first hill of a roller coaster. They all raised their arms and screamed as they dropped to the ground, Thor somewhat confused as to why, but obliging to the seeming social convention. After the roller coaster they hit the ferris wheel- taking tons of pictures of the view and each other having the time of their lives with the skyline of Barcelona in the background.

Clint and Tony dragged them all to carnival games, challenging everyone to see who could win the biggest stuffed animal. Thor ended up winning with a gigantic stuffed piggie, complete with a curly little tail, by sending the booth worker into the dunk tank with one throw.

Tony won a life sized stuffed Captain America shield fishing for rubber duckies with numbers on the bottom, Clint won a large stuffed Scooby Doo playing a ring toss game. Natasha played a game resembling a shooting gallery and earned a giant Hello Kitty. Bruce showed up with a stuffed Einstein and refused to tell anyone where he got it. Steve threw a ball to knock down six stacked cans and won a giant stuffed cowboy hat, though no one could fathom why anyone thought to make such a thing.

After several more rides they stopped to grab dinner- they didn’t recognize most of the Spanish carnival food, but it was delicious, so none of them cared. As they ate, Natasha suggested they see who could win the most prizes.

“But how are we going to get it all back to the hotel? And what would be do with all the stuff during the cruise?” Steve asked.

“We’ll give them to some kids, make their nights. The Avengers giving kids toys? It’ll be great.” Natasha replied.

“Alright, then it’s on,” Steve said, ready to rise to the challenge and shoot for gold.

Clint ended up winning that game, winning a total of 27 stuffed animals, 14 bracelets, 6 hats, and a feather boa- a total of 48 items. Tony and Steve tied for second with 42 prizes each, Natasha had 40, Bruce had 37, and Thor had a mere 20, having gotten distracted by more food.

As Clint crowed about his victory, a large group of kids passed. The Avengers seized the opportunity and showered the children with prizes, taking a few selfies with them, then made their way to the park exit. When they finally made it back to the hotel, they all collapsed into bed exhausted.

***

The next morning they all packed their bags and grabbed breakfast at a cafe on La Ramblas. Leaving their bags with the hotel staff in the lobby (to be picked up and taken to the cruise ship for them), Steve and Bruce departed to tour the Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya. They would meet the rest of the team at a beach near the dock where they would board the cruise ship.

Steve and Bruce didn’t get to the beach until nearly lunchtime, so they changed into bathing suits and joined the team in strolling through the shops and restaurants near the sand to find a fresh seafood place. Upon choosing one they all split their meals, opting to eat family style and try a bit of everything.

They returned to the beach to relax in the sun, wade through the water, splashing each other and generally just having a good time. At 2pm they loaded into a few cabs and headed to the cruise ship. Coulson had arranged for them to board before anyone else, thus saving them the hassle of fighting the crowds and any swarms of fans.

They spent the afternoon settling into their rooms, completely unpacking this time, and exploring the ship. They were delighted to find a small casino, two pools, a spa, a small shopping center with several restaurants, and a theater. They had dinner with the captain at 6pm, then saw the ship’s performance of “Once Upon A Mattress” in the theater.

They couldn’t wait to see what else the trip would bring.


	2. Marseille & Provence

Steve once again woke up before anyone else and went to the upper deck to run laps on the open-air track lapping the entire ship. Upon his return he found the others starting to stir. He grabbed a quick shower, then met the others in the main lounge to go to the main cafeteria/dining hall for breakfast. Not even pretending to look for a table- Coulson made sure they would have a table reserved for them in a prime location at the front of the ship- they all beelined for the closest coffee station to enjoy the caffeinated goodness.

After sucking down at least one mug each and refilling their mugs, they found their table. Leaving their mugs at their designated seats, Bruce opted to stay back and make sure their mugs weren’t cleared while the others loaded up on food.

They each returned with plates overflowing with eggs, fish, bacon, pancakes, fruit, waffles, and anything else they could ever want for breakfast. Thor and Steve each hauling two massively overloaded plates, they dug in while Bruce went to get a more reasonably sized breakfast for himself.

Eating in relative silence, still not fully awake, the time passed easily and comfortably as they enjoyed the beautiful panoramic view of the sea and port of Marseille.

They returned to their suite and packed small bags with sunscreen and other necessities for the day, leaving plenty of room for souvenirs, made sure they were dressed appropriately for the day ahead, and readied to disembark. Coulson, ever the efficient agent he was, had arranged for a local to pick them up on a private boat and take them to shore, saving the Avengers from the overcrowded ferry and scheduled trips for other passengers.

They headed straight to Le Panier, doing a tour of the Old Town, browsing art galleries and shopping at boutiques, then touring the nearby history museum. They admired the ancient artifacts and took many pictures of the Jardins des Vestiges, basking in the sun and posing artistically at Steve’s insistence. They swung by the Cathedrale de la Major, just to see the famed and beautiful church, then went to the island of Chateau d’If, the setting for _The Count of Monte Cristo_. Bruce marveled at the rare flowers growing there as they toured the once-prison, then they enjoyed the white sand beach, even doing a little cliff diving.

“C’mon Nat!” Clint called from the water, “don’t be a scaredy cat- JUMP!”

Natasha rolled her eyes from her place atop the highest cliff they were allowed to jump from before taking a running start and tucking into a ball for a triple flip and she flew off the edge and plunged towards the sea.

Tony, Steve, and Thor laughed at Clint’s inexplicably surprised expression. He knew what Natasha was capable of, his shock was completely unearned.

“Alright Bruce, your turn,” Steve called to the last man standing on the cliff. Bruce opted for a far less flashy pencil jump.

“Boring!” Tony cried, “you could have at least done a cannonball like me.”

“Well forgive me for not wanting a sore bottom for the rest of the day. _I_ know the ramifications of hitting the water butt-first from a more than 20-foot drop,” Bruce arched an eyebrow in amused exasperation.

Tony looked away in play off his slight wince. “It wasn’t that bad,” he muttered.

“Mhm. Well, let me know if you need some lotion or something after the ride to Provence later.”

The others snickered at the idea of Tony needing to lotion his ass.

“Let us jump again!” Thor declared, swimming towards shore to ascend to the cliff top once more.

They jumped several more times before taking a group selfie on the beach to send to Fury and Coulson, then dried off and went to the bathrooms to change into the clothes they had packed for just this purpose.

They dined on fresh fish at a cafe on the mainland before loading up on an assortment of French pastries from a bakery, then boarded a van to begin the trek to Provence.

***

Munching on their sugary snacks, they admired the view of rolling hills, vineyards, and lavender fields as they journeyed to their destination.

“We’re stopping at a winery, right?” Natasha asked flippantly as they passed yet another vineyard.

“Of course!” Tony said. “All the best red wines come from France! No way are we not visiting a winery!”

“I thought you were more of a scotch man?” Steve pondered.

“I am, generally, at things like galas and fundraisers. But nothing pairs better with a nice dinner than a glass of fine wine,” Tony sniffed haughtily.

“Did you ever tour a winery with your parents?” Bruce inquired.

“No. I mean, my parents weren’t the best, but they weren’t completely depraved. Taking a child to a wine tasting? That would have been stupid and ridiculous,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Just asking,” Bruce defended, raising his hands in surrender. “It seems like something your father might have done, given what I know about him.”

“It does sound like something Howard would do,” Steve added. “Then again, the Howard I knew and the Howard you knew were wildly different, so I don’t really know.”

Tony grumbled under his breath about how Steve had the fun-times Howard and Tony got the mean-spirited workaholic Howard as they lapsed into comfortable conversation about their favorite wines and meals.

***

They toured the Pope’s Palace in Provence, admiring the intricate carvings and masterful architecture, learning about the history of the place from their tour guide. Natasha demanded that they all take pictured frollicing in the lavender fields before they left, and Clint even wove a few flowers into her and Thor’s hair.

Once they left the palace, they moved on to the main event of the day: wine tasting at Châteauneuf-du-Pape. They spent a good three hours tasting various wines and each bought several bottles to take home, opting to have them shipped rather than hauling them around throughout the cruise. By the time they left, all but Steve and Thor were feeling the effects of the alcohol.

They fell asleep on the ride back to port, but woke rejuvenated and refreshed for dinner. They dined on excellent French food in the elegant dining hall, sipping on yet more wine, then promptly abandoned all class to go have fun at the casino where they enjoyed much stronger drinks than wine.

By the end of the night, Tony was down three grand, Natasha was up two, and Clint and Bruce were hanging off each other singing off-key campfire songs, much to Thor and Steve’s delight. Tony made sure to capture as much of the spectacle on video as possible for future opportunities for humiliation. Or blackmail.

Steve and Thor were the only ones sober enough to make it to their actual beds that night, everyone else simply passing out on couches in the main lounge, barely having made it to the suite at all.

It had been a magnificent night.


	3. Nice

Breakfast the next day was essentially a repeat of the day before- Steve woke first, ran on the open-air track, then they all went to breakfast at the cafeteria where they inhaled coffee before they ever even thought about food. Bruce watched their coffee as they loaded up on food, then got himself food as well.

Boring as the start was, this was the day they were looking forward to most. It was a day of relaxation. Most of the tourist spots in Nice were churches and museums that not even Steve wanted to go to when the other option was spending the whole day at the beach. They were set for a day in the sun, basking in the sand, and luxuriating in the surf. 

They all packed bags for the beach, careful to include sunscreen, towels, and sunglasses. They all simply wore their swimsuits with t-shirts (and a coverup for Natasha) for the boat ride to shore. 

Upon arrival at the beach- a private one attached to the property of one of Tony’s friend’s houses- they discovered a cabana with large beach umbrellas, a few folding beach chairs, as well as buckets, moulds, and various beach toys. They immediately agreed to a sandcastle building contest and started fighting for who they would have on their “teams.”

In the end they settled for three teams- Thor and Bruce building Asgard, Steve and Tony building Hogwarts, and Clint and Natasha building what they imagined Atlantis would look like. 

*

“It is almost concentric,” Thor explained, “the highest tower is in the center, surrounded by somewhat shorter towers, then even shorter towers, and so on until you reach the common folks homes. Though they are still quite grand, compared to many homes on Midgard.”

*

“No, it has to be taller!” Tony demanded.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tony,” Steve reasoned. “Its plenty tall. If it’s too tall it would hold together and then the whole thing will be ruined.”

*

“Do you think Atlantis would have bridges between buildings like the resort in the Bahamas?” Clint asked Natasha.

*

“So how thick are the tower of the palace? Is this thick enough?” Bruce asked.

“It is sufficient,” Thor praised. “They get narrower the further they are from the center. Then they get thicker and more square as they become homes rather than towers.”

*

“Should we add Hagrid’s hut?” Tony wondered.

“Let’s just focus on the main castle for now and if we have extra time we can build the hut,” Steve said.

*

“I found some seaweed- we can use it to make it look more like the whole place has been underwater!” Clint cried as he came rushing over with an armful of seaweed.

“Be careful not to knock anything over when you’re hanging it,” Natasha cautioned. “I do NOT want to have to start over.”

“Got it.”

*

They ended up taking pictures of each creation and sending them to Fury and Coulson for judgement. Fury texted back “leave me the hell alone,” and Coulson chose Hogwarts- probably because Steve was in the photo and it was obviously his creation. Realizing the Captain America of the situation had thrown the competition, they agreed to settle on a three-way tie.

They followed the sandcastles with a sand-man competition, each of them making sand versions of themselves. Following the same line of thought as with the sand castles, they decided not to bother sending pictures to be judged and agreed not to compete. Steve’s was obviously the best anyway- those artistic skills seemed to translate well from drawing to sand-sculpting. 

When they finished with their masterpieces they each posed for pictured with their sand counterpart, then they sat under some beach umbrellas for lunch. Coulson had arranged for a local cafe to assemble them a picnic and have it delivered around noon, so they enjoyed fresh seafood and local delicacies. 

By the time they were done it was getting hot, so they decided to cool off with some splashing around and body surfing after they reapplied sunscreen. After about an hour Bruce wandered off to explore a few tidepools while Clint and Thor opted to chase the water as it ebbed and flowed, laughing like children. Tony somehow convinced Natasha to lay in the sand as he made her into a sand mermaid while Steve continued to enjoy the water, diving for seashells and riding the surf to shore to add the shells to a bucket.

They ended their afternoon by making sand-angels and decorating them with some of the shells Steve gathered- leaving the best for him to take home as souvenirs. They took some group photos with a timer of them jumping in the air, splashing in the water, and just some goofy, fun pictures. 

They returned to the ship for showers, the application of aloe, and dinner. Steve and Clint both ordered escargots, more for the experience than anything, though they agreed that it wasn’t bad.

That night they attended another show- Mamma Mia! this time, which they all enjoyed while sucking down large amounts of water as they finally realised how dehydrated being in the sun all day had made them. 

They all slept soundly that night, dreaming of sunshine and sea spray.


End file.
